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Note: This announcement is fictitious and has been written for satirical purposes.
After the overwhelmingly positive response to the updated bell system (including the relaxing yet urgent thirty-second warning and the simplistic and stylish announcement alert sound), the Westwood Staff have decided to increase the variety of the bell sounds that are played. These new sounds include:
Church bells
Musical triangles
Doorbell chimes
Wind chimes
Drums
Whistle-blowing
Air horns
Tumbleweed rustling
Wind wooshing
Sonar pings
Glass shattering
Animal screams
Heart monitor flatlines
Air-raid sirens
Ominous countdowns
Jet engines
The silence of the V O I D
The Westwood staff are hoping that these new sounds can help students maintain a focused learning environment while still being able to signal the passage of time in this educational penitentiary.
In addition to new bell sounds, the school bells will now ring more frequently and at different times to ease the feeling of being trapped within a cruel time-based anomaly from which there is no escape. These times include:
Every hour
Before and after lunch periods
Five minutes before the end of a class period
Five minutes before the second block announcements
Once per second in the final ten seconds before a new class period (On Fridays, the ominous countdowns will always play)
Once every minute starting at 4:15 PM
At 4:25 PM
The staff hope that this more consistent schedule will allow for an improved learning environment where students and staff alike can keep track of where they should be going at which times.
Have a nice day and remember: GO WOOD!