OPINION: I’m Exhausted by #MeToo

I’m exhausted by #MeToo.

Don’t get me wrong; I’ve never been prouder of women speaking up for their rights. Like most others, I teared up watching Oprah’s Golden Globes speech and witnessing the testimonials against Larry Nassar, the abusive USA Gymnastics doctor. I’ve called myself an ardent feminist for years.

But it’s surprisingly difficult and draining to watch the #MeToo movement unfold.

Yesterday, the famous U.S. Olympian in snowboarding, Shaun White, took home his third gold medal with a terrific run. It was a nail-biting competition, with stellar performances from all the athletes. White came into first in the final run of the race, winning a gold medal and the hearts of American viewers.

I was unbelievably excited. Seeing others’ uncontrollable joy tends to be contagious, and I was so glad for this man I’d never met, until I heard about his sexual misconduct.

About a year and a half ago, White had settled a lawsuit with a former bandmate who had accused him of sexual harassment. He had sent inappropriate messages and made consistent uncomfortable demands, despite knowing his advances were unwanted. What’s more, when asked about it, he called the event mere “gossip,” as if it were just something to brush off.

Reading multiple stories about this incident, I felt strangely cheated. The shared joy and pride I’d experienced just seconds ago evaporated in front of the phone screen, and I had to let go of another oblivious happiness to feel angry and exhausted by the seemingly incessant cycle of accused men.

The experience with White wasn’t the first time I’d been completely let down. I’d been a deep fan of James Franco’s artistry for years, only to find out five women had detailed, valid accusations against him. I’d been recommended the movie The Usual Suspects (1995), only to see Kevin Spacey’s name in the cast and having to turn it down. With a slew of new infamous names appearing in the news every hour, I eventually had to stop keeping track.

What’s frustrating is that these letdowns are not the victims’ faults, not at all. The accusers, almost all of them coming from righteous and courageous places, are breaking new ground with every voice adding to the movement. They are tearing old wounds and spilling personal stories to ensure that no generation ever has to keep this hidden again. They are building an unstoppable force for a better tomorrow.

The frustration comes not from these brave men and women, but from the fact that this problem has been so silently pervasive for so long that no normal person can engage with pop culture without encountering these horrifying accounts. No one should have to feel guilty watching high-paid, beautifully-made films because of the immorality of their stars, directors, and producers. No one should have to watch their old role models shatter at the touch of misconduct allegations. Sexual harassment should never have been an issue in such prestigious, important places of society. We should know better — these shouldn’t have to be challenging, complex solutions. Not violating someone’s rights is not that difficult. It seems incredibly unjust that regular people have to be constantly disappointed at the actions of those who inspire them, have to develop a doubt and fear of carrying out their dreams.

But now, at least we carry the knowledge that if we decide to speak, our voices will be heard. It is a power with invigorating force that has never been given to victims before. At least now, we will handle the disappointment of seeing well-known faces fall from their podiums instead of living in complete oblivion.

#MeToo may be exhausting for now, but its promise for a fairer tomorrow makes every second worth it.