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The Zodiac Signs as Old People

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The Zodiac Signs as Old People

By CJ Groom, Reporter

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As you graduate high school, complete college applications, and get stressed about the future, you likely can’t help but wonder what life has in store for you. The good news is, almost all of us will eventually end up as ugly old people with more wrinkles than memories. If you’re wondering what type of old person you will turn out to be, look no further. Additionally, if you’re still alive in 60 years, please consider revisiting this article and commenting about the accuracy.

The element of the sign (Air, Water, Earth, or Fire) will also be indicated by the symbol next to the name of the sign:
(F) Fire (A) Air (E) Earth (W) Water

(F) Aries (March 21 – April 19) – The fluffy grandmother that force feeds her famous casserole to you even though you’ve already eaten dinner. These grandparents have a tendency to get heated when they disagree with parents about how to discipline their grandchildren. Similarly, they may ignore the parent’s directions and baby their grandchildren, making the parent seem like the bad cop.

(E) Taurus (April 20 – May 20) – The grandparents who want to parent again. Grandchildren will always feel comfortable around Taurus grandparents because they are so down to earth. Their honesty can be like a breath of fresh air to confused children and concerned parents alike. They are undeniably responsible and their practical outlook on life teaches grandchildren to be thankful for everything they have. However, their stubbornness may lead to them back-seat parenting.

(A) Gemini (May 21- June 20) – Still a child at heart, and knows how to get along with anyone. Young or old, Geminis can keep up with children’s fast pace. Constantly trying to teach their grandchildren new things. They are very open, give great advice, but may talk too much, spilling age-inappropriate information.

(W) Cancer (June 21-July 22) – The best listener, best hugger, extremely empathetic. These grandparents are selfless when the parents need advice, a night alone, or emotional support. Similarly, they act as a huge shoulder to cry on for their grandchildren. They are always understanding and do not choose sides, but instead help the family grow stronger.

(F) Leo (July 23-August 22) – Asks teenagers in public if they know that their ripped jeans have holes in them. Think they’re hilarious and original. Old Leos are not scared of the world, they embrace all people because they know that most of them are kind-hearted. They have forgotten most of the hatred in the world and are comfortable accepting that the world is good. Leos are very generous and will inevitably spoil their grandchildren as much as they can.

(E) Virgo (August 23-Sept 22) – Very judgemental and conservative, shames you for your colorful hair, sexuality, or anything else they can find to criticize. Despite their criticisms, they love unconditionally and will always be there to help their family. They embody the “I’m only yelling at you because I love you” cliche. The many lessons Virgos relentlessly try to teach their grandchildren come straight from the heart. They simply want their loved ones to grow up happier and more successful than they were.

(A) Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22) – Dream grandmother who serves ice cream for breakfast, takes you to the zoo, and lets you wear her glasses. She hosts dress up parties so her grandchildren can wear her fancy clothes, and goes to the movies with you even if she falls asleep every time. Libra grandparents are highly reluctant to discipline their grandchildren and will always look for a better way of teaching them.

(W) Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 22) – Quiet, war-torn old man who cuts all the phone lines and insists the neighbors are stealing his mail. Has no grandchildren, but one highly treasured and equally as old cat. He was once married and in love but his wife passed away years ago, and now he is just waiting for the end of his road. But maybe you can help this sadness by reaching out to him.

(F) Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 22) – Grandparents who have been to every country you can name and more. Their house is full of travel souvenirs and their minds full of adventurous memories. Due to their extensive time away, they may not have watched their grandchildren grow up. You have to be very careful on their furniture and you’re not allowed to run around inside their house because you might break something.

(E) Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 22) – Very frugal and careful with money, probably due to past experiences. Responsible and focused, Capricorn grandparents are loyal and can be trusted with watching grandchildren. They may not spoil grandchildren, but they will easily keep their secrets and may end up acting controlling over the parents.

(A) Aquarius (Jan 23-Feb 22) – Weird, very outgoing, flowy clothes, the hippie grandmother with super long silver hair and clunky shoes. Keeps many plants inside the house, reads poems and talks to nature. On birthdays or Christmas, they gift things such as an empty journal, a ball of beeswax, or watercolor paints.

(W) Pisces (Feb 23-March 21) – The grandparents that live right down the street, babysit, pick up their grandchildren from daycare, and have a huge hand in raising them. They are likely creative and spend your time together doing arts and crafts or other imaginative activities. On the other hand, they are pretty sensitive and may be upset if they don’t spend plenty of time with their grandchildren and family.

About the Writer
CJ Groom, Reporter

When I took Journalism 1 last year, I fell in love with the idea of taking pictures, writing, and being...

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