Dearest Jeb,

A hush fell over the world this week when you suspended your campaign. A silence rose as we came to realize that we would never see “Jeb! 2016” again. But were we surprised? Your journey has been described as “a slow, awkward stumble” rather than a valiant, steadfast gallop. But we know, Jeb. We know that you tried your best. You hired a media coach to improve your debating skills, you recruited your brother and 90 year-old mother to excite and entice the voters, and your efforts cost a total of $130 million. Most importantly of all, you handed out tiny toy turtles to children on your campaign trail. “Slow and steady wins the race,” you said. Just know, Jeb, you are a winner in our eyes.

The one point that I cannot stress enough, dear Jeb, is that you made us laugh. We can joke about Donald Trump’s horrific hair or the fact that Ted Cruz looks like a villain from a Saturday morning cartoon, but you made us really laugh. Whether it was calling yourself a “joyful tortoise” on social media, or apologizing to your mother after admitting to smoking marijuana during a debate, you elicited a chuckle from every person in America at some point during your journey. Better yet, you were pitied by every person in America at some point during your journey. If there’s anything better than being supported, it’s being pitied. There’s something slightly tragic about you, Jeb. I can’t decide if it’s your misguided social media posts, your tendency to get verbally abused by other candidates, or the fact that you told a group of children that your father sent you into a “deep, spiraling depression for days”. Tragedy or not, your legacy will live on as an American hero.

If you look at your campaign highlights, it’ll seem like a montage from Parks and Recreation. You’ll find yourself wondering where Amy Poehler is. But that’s why we like you, Jeb. Are you pathetic? Perhaps. Self-deprecating? Most definitely. Did you have any shot at actually becoming the Republican nominee, much less the president? The world will never know. But one thing we do know is that you were the most likeable candidate. You had a goofy charm and perhaps an unintentional amount of charisma. And always remember that you can speak better Spanish than all of the remaining candidates, especially Ted Cruz. You’re a gracious man, Jeb. You didn’t act out when Donald Trump had the url www.jebbush.com redirect to his own campaign site (the url is no longer active). Instead, your website www.jeb2016.com has a new message following your campaign suspension. Your message: “Thank you.”

“Please clap.”

The words that changed a nation. Don’t worry, Jeb. We’re all giving you rounds of applause.

Yours truly,

The American People