Music means different things to everybody: some use it as a form of entertainment, or a way to connect with people, while others use it as self expression. Many people used this album as a way to validate their own experiences. CTRL is like SZA’s personal diary. Even though each song is her unique experience, it’s the reality of many black women. She writes about topics such as feeling undesirable, and the pressure to maintain control in her life. This year marks the seventh anniversary of SZA’s debut album CTRL. The breakout album for the popular R&B singer, CTRL achieved mass critical acclaim and got multiple Grammy nominations. When this album dropped, it captivated the masses, but more specifically resonated with black women. The album showcased a new type of representation of women of color in the media.
The album shed light on the experience of being a woman who struggled to find her own identity. The overall themes within the album showed that black women could be so much more than the loud, fun girl that popular culture often stereotypes them as. SZA navigates through femininity as a black woman, letting us in on her secret desires and revealing a more up-close and vulnerable side of her.
In her song The Weekend, SZA sings about her relationship blues with smooth beats and hints of jazz. SZA expresses her romantic desire to be wanted and taken seriously, but knows she will always be labeled as a fun time. She sings, “you’re 9-5 a.m./I’m the weekend.” This line pokes fun at her position as the other women. Her boast is a cry for help disguised as nonchalance. As the song progresses, she confidently embraces the mistress title, instead of feeling guilty or ashamed.
The song Supermodel presents control as a concept, which SZA is trying hard to grasp. SZA’s mom comes to the rescue through a voice recording to offer her advice on the idea of control as a whole, and to help her navigate through it. Her mom tells her that “That is my greatest fear, that if I lost control, or did not have control… it would be fatal.”
SZA’s insecurities are brought to light by her tendency to micromanage everything and everyone in her life. Since SZA feels that she lacks control in the important areas of her life, she makes up for it by making impulsive decisions in order to feel a false sense of control. Her hyperfocus on control (or lack thereof), results in her criticizing her own circumstances, then blaming the outcomes of her decision on how much she can regulate it,which is pointless, because many things are out of her control.
For instance, her ex-boyfriend’s actions caused her to look at herself as a reflection of his shortcomings. Lines like “Why am I so easy to forget like that?” and “It can’t be that easy for you to get like that” show this first hand. Even though she’s upset about somebody else’s actions she finds a way to bring it back to herself. This indicates how her insecurities influences not only her negative self perception, but also it serves as an answer to her exes’ toxic behaviors. Her boyfriend at the time ghosted her while he went to Vegas, and this sent her spiraling through multiple emotions. What first was distress now developed into anger at his redundant actions. Instead of getting upset like her previous self would have done, she took matters into her own hands.
SZA wanted to take charge of this unfortunate situation, and her first reaction to her unyielding feelings was to be unfaithful. “Let me tell you a secret, I been secretly banging your homeboy/Why are you in Vegas, all up on Valentine’s Day?” SZA confesses. Even though this probably wasn’t the best course of action, she was influenced by her desire to be in control. Despite this, SZA is able to look past her imperfections. She’s able to see her full potential, but she questions if any one else will recognize it. This is showcased with lines like “I could be your supermodel/If you believe/If you see it in me.” The lyrics pose the question: will she live as her best self only in her imagination, or will she be able to project it outward, resembling a Supermodel?
The consequences of not setting healthy boundaries with yourself can manifest in all areas of life leading you to feel all over the place, a feeling that SZA expertly explores. Many fans admired the chaotic nature of Supermodel, and how SZA was able to express a multitude of emotions. Everyone processes emotions differently, and this song highlighted that.
Even though SZA likes to make light of her situation in her songs, she shows a more vulnerable side in Normal Girl. This song has a subtle feel to it, with vocals that are not super emotional, almost bordering on monotone. Within her lyrics, SZA expresses some of her biggest insecurities as everyday thoughts. Since there are negative stereotypes about black women, she feels the need to overcompensate to be perceived as the titular Normal Girl by the men in her life.
Through her lyrics, SZA vents about her wish to show up perfectly in all areas of her life, whether that’s being the perfect daughter or perfect romantic partner. Even though she’ll never live up to society’s harsh expectations, she comes to terms with it, and continues living authentically. This song soon became a fan favorite, because it was painfully relatable to many listeners. The song’s message of not fitting into society’s pre-packaged stereotypes, and the worries that come with it resonated with a lot of fans.
Throughout the album, SZA expresses her full range of life experiences with her raw vocals and intimate lyrics: the good, the bad, and everything between. She experiments with different instrumentals to produce a new type of neo-soul R&B that has proved to be highly influential, leaving a lasting mark on the genre.
